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Looking for a trusted specialist or classes on child behavior

asked Dec 20, 2017 in Personal by anonymous
We have twin boys who are 2 years old and going through the usual milestones for that age but it is driving us crazy. We'd like to speak to someone who actually knows about child behavior and psychology or at least attend classes on the matter. It seems everybody around us has an opinion on how we should raise our kids and frankly we're lost because the opinions are so conflicting. We don't want to do what we "feel" is right for our kids and then it turns out to be hurting their social or personality development.
Any direction would be much appreciated.

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4 Answers

answered Dec 20, 2017 by anonymous
Hello, may you please provide me with an email to contact you on?
answered Dec 20, 2017 by anonymous
Were you raised by  a professional or a book?
commented Dec 20, 2017 by anonymous
Very unnecessary... in fact you should commend them for reaching out and leaving the stigma on mental health/ and denial  behind them.
commented Dec 20, 2017 by anonymous
There is no mention or any indication of any mental health in the post. If you consider what's written mental, then you are one of the people who only make the parents feel worse about their children's behaviour.  

It is clearly a matter of how to raise kids which should never come from a book or a class.

Dear original poster,
Not everything has a guide or an app, nor do kids have to be of certain standard. Doing things by rules and guidelines may in fact hurt them more socially and personally. If you have real concerns about their behaviour, consult your paediatrician for a first opinion, then see where it goes from there to rule out things like hyperactive disorders.
commented Dec 20, 2017 by anonymous
With all due respect if you had read the comment properly you would have noticed that it did not pin point a mental health illness but rather praised them for being open to the possibility that there might be one.  

Moreover, it's quite hypocritical of you to say something like " you're one of those people that make parents feel worse about their children"  especially when you're making parents feel worse about themselves for reaching out for help.

Lastly, I hope you take this comment with an open mind and realize that positive communication goes a long way.
answered Dec 20, 2017 by anonymous
answered Dec 21, 2017 by anonymous
Original poster here... I apologize for the confusion maybe I wasn't clear which led to almost all responses going in the direction that I am sure of, or suspecting a mental health issue. Let me rule that out to start with.

Let me clarify. When you're raising a SINGLE child you're concerned about things like how to establish a bedtime routine, how to have them eat healthy and how to deal with their rejection of certain foods, how to let them know that something is right and something is wrong, how to deal with tantrums or night terrors etc. So taking tantrums as an example, if a kid has a meltdown in the middle of a mall, parenting resources and the pediatrician say ignore them and get on with the day to teach them that this is not right. But first of all you get a disagreement between the parents about what's the right course of action, then you get a range of negative responses from people around you such as dirty looks and shit comments, and God forbid if you're going out with grandparents, they will completely override volumes of research and pick the kid up to the nearest candy store. Now when it's TWINS, then you're dealing with all the above PLUS issues where one of them is misbehaving and the other is copying, or one of them is good at puzzles and the other isn't and therefore takes out that frustration in other forms.

That's why we are looking for middle ground, external validation from an independent party who knows their shit rather than mom blogs, pediatricians (who are no better than mom blogs), grandparents etc. So also in response to the comment about whether I was "raised by a professional or a book", I was raised by parents whom I give immense credit for what they did with what limited experience they had but who also admitted that they did a much better job raising my youngest sibling than my eldest due to the experience they learned on the job. So I can't blame them if their methods were uninformed but I will definitely blame myself for not trying to get it as close to right as possible.
commented Dec 21, 2017 by anonymous
I think you are thinking too much, raising twins may be a bit of an effort. But once you sort it out
yourself and with the twins it should be fine. Besides once they grow up to an age of understanding like 8 or 9 then they will surely become naughty more and eat your head. So be prepared for all this , also for teaching them.
commented Dec 21, 2017 by anonymous
Again, that's the issue with your post. There is NO right thing to do. Everything works differently for everybody. Why both of them have to be equally good at puzzles? DO NOT compare them to each other or other children.

It's an effort and it's not easy. Do what feels right and most importantly IGNORE people. Believe me, anyone who gives you a look is not a parent or has his child at home with the maid, because every parent went through what you are going through.
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